This post is more of a public service announcement and a confession/opportunity to mock Samantha. I am hesitant to mention this event because of previous pictures that have been Photoshopped to make it seem like I throw and bounce my kids in a way that is unsafe. Anywho if it saves one child from some pain and discomfort and saves some parents from an emergency room bill then it is worth it. It all started a week ago and Betsy was a little more irritable than ususal. She wanted to be held constantly and I was putting the kids to bed so I passed her a few times while she was standing screaming with arms extended. After getting the kids down I walked past Betsy and grabbed her by the wrists and lifted her into my arms. I immediately noticed that something was wrong. She wouldn't use her left arm. If I raised her arm she would cry, but if the arm was resting across her belly and between her legs she was OK. Samantha was of course beside herself because her little perfect angle was acting like a little bird with a broken wing. "Joe we have go to the ER her shoulder is broken." I said, "feel her shoulders they are perfect. She has no sensitivity there."
So while she stewed in the living room with the little beauty and pondered her terrible life with a "know it all" tyrant, I hopped on the internet and started searching. (And this blog totally dispels any know it all myths there might be about you by it's humble and loving tone.) I found that dislocated shoulders are impossible to fix yourself but in infants a condition called NurseMaids Elbow has the symptoms of a dislocated shoulder. I searched for treatment of nursemaids elbow and found that there is a treatment. And I quote," Perform reduction by firm supination of the forearm with the other hand supporting the elbow in 90ยบ of flexion, feeling and listening for the 'click' as full supination is achieved (although 'click' signifies reduction, absence of a 'click' is noted in successful reductions)"
So I had to look up all the words in the sentence and translated it to this, "Hold your childs hurt arm at a 90. The palm will be face down if they have NME. Twist the palm of the hand until it is facing up or until you feel the click in the elbow.
So I was proud of myself and gleefully reported this to Samantha who didn't recieve it well. "Don't touch her, she is asleep, I am taking her to the doctor in the morning. " So I said if she wakes up tonight wake me up. Well about 4 AM Sam is at the end of the rope because she has been up all night and finally in total desperation, she wakes me up. (untrue) I go get Betsy sit on the couch, hold her elbow, twist the wrist and pop. Betsy cryed for about 1 minute and started using the arm again. I put her in bed and she slept til 10. Moral of the story: Don't pick up tiny kids by the wrists only under the arm pits, and trust your engineer husbands. Thank you.
(Actual moral of the story: Hit your books harder in Law School It's called Nemo tenetur se deteger or right to silence. You totally exposed your arrogant side on this one pal; "Know-It-all-Tyrant" has never seemed more appropriate.)
So while she stewed in the living room with the little beauty and pondered her terrible life with a "know it all" tyrant, I hopped on the internet and started searching. (And this blog totally dispels any know it all myths there might be about you by it's humble and loving tone.) I found that dislocated shoulders are impossible to fix yourself but in infants a condition called NurseMaids Elbow has the symptoms of a dislocated shoulder. I searched for treatment of nursemaids elbow and found that there is a treatment. And I quote," Perform reduction by firm supination of the forearm with the other hand supporting the elbow in 90ยบ of flexion, feeling and listening for the 'click' as full supination is achieved (although 'click' signifies reduction, absence of a 'click' is noted in successful reductions)"
So I had to look up all the words in the sentence and translated it to this, "Hold your childs hurt arm at a 90. The palm will be face down if they have NME. Twist the palm of the hand until it is facing up or until you feel the click in the elbow.
So I was proud of myself and gleefully reported this to Samantha who didn't recieve it well. "Don't touch her, she is asleep, I am taking her to the doctor in the morning. " So I said if she wakes up tonight wake me up. Well about 4 AM Sam is at the end of the rope because she has been up all night and finally in total desperation, she wakes me up. (untrue) I go get Betsy sit on the couch, hold her elbow, twist the wrist and pop. Betsy cryed for about 1 minute and started using the arm again. I put her in bed and she slept til 10. Moral of the story: Don't pick up tiny kids by the wrists only under the arm pits, and trust your engineer husbands. Thank you.
(Actual moral of the story: Hit your books harder in Law School It's called Nemo tenetur se deteger or right to silence. You totally exposed your arrogant side on this one pal; "Know-It-all-Tyrant" has never seemed more appropriate.)
3 comments:
Yes it is true when they say to not pick them up by pulling on their arms it is for a reason. So that has happened to Jeb a couple times. they say once it happens it the first time it is more apt to happen again, so good thing you know what to do right away! I was also beside myself and had him in the car to take him to the ER (after splinting it and making him lay on the couch for over an hour) but on the way he started using his arm again. I guess it worked itself back in. Also I am impressed that you figured it out. The first time I read it through, I thought what in the world does that mean?
Marissa's TO DO list: 1. Have Stevenson read Samantha's newest post. 2. Have him read it again.
Thanks for posting.
I'm posting this post (too many posts) to make two statements:
1)To proclaim to the world that I've read about jerk-your-baby's-arm-accidentally syndrome to satisfy the wife
2)The Choyle rocks cazbah! You are the premier blogger of the family; from the music to the pics to the witty writings. Pretty awesome
PS-I immediately saved "Betsy Flying" as my new desktop background. That should be in either the guiness book of world records or a police report for sure!
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