If you can't beat them . . .

 A little background, I think . . . .

  While Joe was out on his death hike with the scouts last August I discovered I was pregnant, again. This was upsetting because Joe and I had spent the summer debating, deciding and finally adjusting to the idea of being done having children.  I was very worried again for myself, the little baby and for the family.  The last three pregnancies had taken such a toll, it seemed like this fourth one could only end in disaster.  Every day we woke up surprised to find I was still pregnant and we held our breath between OB visits to find that the baby's heart was still beating. 
   In December, we were able to have the much anticipated Ultrasound to find out the baby's gender.  I was excited to find out it was a girl and Joe was resigned.  Gunner on the other hand was devastated.  At that appointment our Doctor told us there was the possibility that our baby would have a cleft lip and possibly cleft palate as well.  This was devastating mostly because we just didn't know what that would entail and since the last three pregnancies had ended badly this new complication didn't bode well.  My body was also very worn down from too many consecutive months of pregnancy and my heart started acting up so I got this nifty heart monitor I had to wear for a couple days and beta blockers to help regulate my heart rate. (Don't tell the Dr. I didn't ever take them, but good luck getting life insurance coverage now!) 

  The months following December were somewhat somber and stressful.  But time marched on including Valentines Day which Joe was happy to make into a big deal.  When the writing is on the wall that you will have mostly daughters you might as well join in the pink and red fun.  We enjoyed a tasty meal of all red and pink things, and Gunner was no where to be found.